Mothers Instinct. Only now have I learnt how to listen to it and how to trust it.
Quick story: after a recent trip to the doctors (a basic cold turned into a rash situation – Harry, 2 1/2 years), the doctor noticed Harry’s glands raised a little more then they should have be – “I’m 99.9% sure there’s nothing wrong, however, if you’re worried, then I’m worried”.
It turned out that this doctor had recently encountered a number of parents with children who hadn’t shown any sign of serious illness, however, the parents still felt the need to investigate. Against her professional opinion and on further testing, they did in fact discover that these children did have the particular illnesses their parents believed they had.
How amazing is that?! An instinct could save a life!
This made me question just how much I use and trust my instinct when dealing with the boys.
Below are a few tricks which helped me discover my mothers instinct. If you’re struggling to find yours, I hope his helps x
1. Sleep / Yoga. Sleep; if I don’t sleep, I 100% don’t function. If I do sleep…watch out world here I come! This point is a little laughable though, as if parents of young babies ever have much of this! So if sleep is not an option, I use yoga. It would be lovely to exit the building to do this, but in times of desperation, the shower it is. Breathing deeply and freeing the mind. When I’m done, I find I have a clearer mind and the ability to be present and in the moment.
2. Music. I’ve been using music or singing (whichever is quickest to get to), to stop the tears and create a little quiet amidst the madness. It’s so much easier to think and listen to your gut when there’s no screaming in the background. Click HERE for the music I use and created (using my instinct) – couldn’t live without it!
2. Observation. If I’m stuck in the middle of tantrum city, I find I use music or singing to create the quiet, however, if I can…I stand back and watch. Last week, as I stood back and watched Harry play with his brother Vancouver (1 yrs) and friends, I worked out that his tears and tantrums could possibly be fixed with a little one on one time with me. Turned out I was right, seemed to do the trick. A change up of toys also helped (a busy toddler is a happy one :))
3. A hug. It’s amazing how you can instantly work out what’s going on with a hug. Adults do it all the time, if you’re angry, the hug will feel icy, if you’re feeling affectionate, the hug will feel warm; it’s the same with babies and toddlers. This morning I hugged Vancouver, he couldn’t care less, he struggled free and pulled my hand to help him walk. I then hugged Harry, he clung on and wouldn’t let go, he needed some one on one time with mummy before running off happily. I felt what they needed from the hug. Click HERE for more on hugging and its benefits (healing, boosting self esteem…amazing!)
These are just a few things which have helped me. The biggest has been creating space in my mind, so then when something happens and my instinct kicks in, I can hear it. For me it didn’t happen naturally, I had to learn it, create space for it and then practise listening. I found that the more I listened, the more I heard.
I hope this helps you too and I hope you too can find the peace and the empowerment which comes from hearing and using the mothers instinct.
Lots of love,
To learn more on the music and books Kris created for her children follow the links below.
Sing Baby Sing – sing, play and soothe baby.
Black and White Stories For Babies – help babies eyes grow and develop.