It’s a real baby! What do I do with it?

It’s a REAL BABY! What Do I Do With It?

Taking baby home. What do you do?

I remember when my first son Harrison was born. The whole way through the pregnancy it was uncomprehendable that he was inside me. Then when he came flying out, my first thought was –

‘Wow it’s a REAL baby!’

We brought him home from the hospital so carefully.

We had the room all set up, the cot ready and the books ready to follow by way of routine and help.

The first few days were amazing. Still on a high from giving birth and Harrison sleeping pretty much constantly, life was good. Presents and visitors made for a busy and happy time.

After a few weeks, the sleeping became less and Harrison started to spend more time awake. I remember thinking ‘What do I do with him?’

For some, becoming a mum might come naturally. For me, I had no idea what to do. It also didn’t help that Harrison cried non stop.

What do you do when the books and everything you try don’t work? You seek help.

We took many trips to the local Community Centre and asked many doctors opinions on what it could be. For Harrison, it ended up being silent reflux, however the only real solution we were given was –‘he’ll grow out of it.’ NOOOOO! How on earth were we all going to survive?!

To make matters harder, I was obsessed with these development guides which had activities you could do with your baby each month (assisting in their development). But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t do any of them as Harrison wouldn’t stop crying!!!

It wasn’t until one day, development guide in hand, I started to sing, using one of the suggested activities ‘Peekaboo’. Guess what? He stopped crying!!! From here I just kept going, writing songs to match each activity suggested. It was so amazing, it provided such relief for all of us, as the crying stopped and it gave us beautiful, gentle activities to do during his awake time.

The last remaining hard part was getting Harrison’s burps up. We sung the songs and bounced him around the house, however then I remembered the black and white images we had on the walls in his room. What if I made up some stories using black and white images? Would he hold still and relax enough to get the burps up?

From here Ribbit the Frog, Hip the Hippo and Ellie the Elephant were born. Harrison sat, listened to the stories, relaxed and the burps came out. Amazing! And the best part about it was, the black and white images were also great for his eye development.

This all basically saved our life. I know it sounds dramatic but if you’ve been in a similar position where the crying never stops you would know just how amazing it is when it does stop.

And now after 3 babies, I’m still using the songs and the stories. You can find out more here.

I also discovered a few other things which helped along the way. Hope you find them useful too.

1. Enjoy! There is lots of advice out there and we often feel we have to do certain things with baby at certain times. If possible, the best thing I found to do was throw all that out of the window and enjoy. The rest comes naturally believe it or not.

2. Get to know him. As baby starts to spend more awake time, this is an exciting time. It’s the time of first smiles, first laughs and possibly even first projectile vomits out in public 🙂 But this is the time where if you can relax and enjoy, you can then really enjoy getting to know your new little addition. Look into his eyes, hold him close and watch his personalty unfold.

3. Do something you want to do. Since baby has arrived, every single thing has been about them. That’s not a bad thing as this is a hugely important and special time, however now it’s time to get you back. What do you love? exercise? going out for a coffee? going to the shops? Whatever it is, go and do it. The best thing is, you have a new mate to do it with. You’ll find that when you do something for yourself, you feel happy, which then rubs off on baby.

4. Relaxed play. With all my babies I wanted to do activities which helped them with their development. The problem with this was that I put way too much pressure on myself. Thankfully using the songs and stories I created, this took all the pressure off and it gave us all something to do when baby was awake. More on that HERE.

5. Tummy time. Some babies love tummy time, some hate it. Either way it’s great to do on the change table after a nappy change or even on a mat in a safe place on the floor. I personally loved laying my boys down on the ground with my Black and White Books which they loved, the contrast in the colours kept their attention and helped them lift their head. Best part about it was that the pictures were helping their eyes develop.

And lastly, listen to your gut and trust yourself. You are amazing!

Lots of love,

Kris xxx

To learn more on the music and books Kris created for her children follow the links below.

Sing Baby Sing – sing, play and soothe baby.

Black and White Stories For Babies – help babies eyes grow and develop.

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How to find your mothers instinct

Trusting Your Instinct

Mothers Instinct. Only now have I learnt how to listen to it and how to trust it.

Quick story: after a recent trip to the doctors (a basic cold turned into a rash situation – Harry, 2 1/2 years), the doctor noticed Harry’s glands raised a little more then they should have be – “I’m 99.9% sure there’s nothing wrong, however, if you’re worried, then I’m worried”.

It turned out that this doctor had recently encountered a number of parents with children who hadn’t shown any sign of serious illness, however, the parents still felt the need to investigate. Against her professional opinion and on further testing, they did in fact discover that these children did have the particular illnesses their parents believed they had.

How amazing is that?! An instinct could save a life!

This made me question just how much I use and trust my instinct when dealing with the boys.

Below are a few tricks which helped me discover my mothers instinct. If you’re struggling to find yours, I hope his helps x

1. Sleep / Yoga. Sleep; if I don’t sleep, I 100% don’t function. If I do sleep…watch out world here I come! This point is a little laughable though, as if parents of young babies ever have much of this! So if sleep is not an option, I use yoga. It would be lovely to exit the building to do this, but in times of desperation, the shower it is. Breathing deeply and freeing the mind. When I’m done, I find I have a clearer mind and the ability to be present and in the moment.

2. Music. I’ve been using music or singing (whichever is quickest to get to), to stop the tears and create a little quiet amidst the madness. It’s so much easier to think and listen to your gut when there’s no screaming in the background. Click HERE for the music I use and created (using my instinct) – couldn’t live without it!

2. Observation. If I’m stuck in the middle of tantrum city, I find I use music or singing to create the quiet, however, if I can…I stand back and watch. Last week, as I stood back and watched Harry play with his brother Vancouver (1 yrs) and friends, I worked out that his tears and tantrums could possibly be fixed with a little one on one time with me. Turned out I was right, seemed to do the trick. A change up of toys also helped (a busy toddler is a happy one :))

3. A hug. It’s amazing how you can instantly work out what’s going on with a hug. Adults do it all the time, if you’re angry, the hug will feel icy, if you’re feeling affectionate, the hug will feel warm; it’s the same with babies and toddlers. This morning I hugged Vancouver, he couldn’t care less, he struggled free and pulled my hand to help him walk. I then hugged Harry, he clung on and wouldn’t let go, he needed some one on one time with mummy before running off happily. I felt what they needed from the hug. Click HERE for more on hugging and its benefits (healing, boosting self esteem…amazing!)

These are just a few things which have helped me. The biggest has been creating space in my mind, so then when something happens and my instinct kicks in, I can hear it. For me it didn’t happen naturally, I had to learn it, create space for it and then practise listening. I found that the more I listened, the more I heard.

I hope this helps you too and I hope you too can find the peace and the empowerment which comes from hearing and using the mothers instinct.

Lots of love,

Kris xxx

To learn more on the music and books Kris created for her children follow the links below.

Sing Baby Sing – sing, play and soothe baby.

Black and White Stories For Babies – help babies eyes grow and develop.

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