How to find your mothers instinct

Trusting Your Instinct

Mothers Instinct. Only now have I learnt how to listen to it and how to trust it.

Quick story: after a recent trip to the doctors (a basic cold turned into a rash situation – Harry, 2 1/2 years), the doctor noticed Harry’s glands raised a little more then they should have be – “I’m 99.9% sure there’s nothing wrong, however, if you’re worried, then I’m worried”.

It turned out that this doctor had recently encountered a number of parents with children who hadn’t shown any sign of serious illness, however, the parents still felt the need to investigate. Against her professional opinion and on further testing, they did in fact discover that these children did have the particular illnesses their parents believed they had.

How amazing is that?! An instinct could save a life!

This made me question just how much I use and trust my instinct when dealing with the boys.

Below are a few tricks which helped me discover my mothers instinct. If you’re struggling to find yours, I hope his helps x

1. Sleep / Yoga. Sleep; if I don’t sleep, I 100% don’t function. If I do sleep…watch out world here I come! This point is a little laughable though, as if parents of young babies ever have much of this! So if sleep is not an option, I use yoga. It would be lovely to exit the building to do this, but in times of desperation, the shower it is. Breathing deeply and freeing the mind. When I’m done, I find I have a clearer mind and the ability to be present and in the moment.

2. Music. I’ve been using music or singing (whichever is quickest to get to), to stop the tears and create a little quiet amidst the madness. It’s so much easier to think and listen to your gut when there’s no screaming in the background. Click HERE for the music I use and created (using my instinct) – couldn’t live without it!

2. Observation. If I’m stuck in the middle of tantrum city, I find I use music or singing to create the quiet, however, if I can…I stand back and watch. Last week, as I stood back and watched Harry play with his brother Vancouver (1 yrs) and friends, I worked out that his tears and tantrums could possibly be fixed with a little one on one time with me. Turned out I was right, seemed to do the trick. A change up of toys also helped (a busy toddler is a happy one :))

3. A hug. It’s amazing how you can instantly work out what’s going on with a hug. Adults do it all the time, if you’re angry, the hug will feel icy, if you’re feeling affectionate, the hug will feel warm; it’s the same with babies and toddlers. This morning I hugged Vancouver, he couldn’t care less, he struggled free and pulled my hand to help him walk. I then hugged Harry, he clung on and wouldn’t let go, he needed some one on one time with mummy before running off happily. I felt what they needed from the hug. Click HERE for more on hugging and its benefits (healing, boosting self esteem…amazing!)

These are just a few things which have helped me. The biggest has been creating space in my mind, so then when something happens and my instinct kicks in, I can hear it. For me it didn’t happen naturally, I had to learn it, create space for it and then practise listening. I found that the more I listened, the more I heard.

I hope this helps you too and I hope you too can find the peace and the empowerment which comes from hearing and using the mothers instinct.

Lots of love,

Kris xxx

To learn more on the music and books Kris created for her children follow the links below.

Sing Baby Sing – sing, play and soothe baby.

Black and White Stories For Babies – help babies eyes grow and develop.

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How we delt with sleep regression

Harrison & Vancouver looking after their baby brother.
Harry & Couvie looking after their baby brother.

 

Sleep regression. I wish I had a magic potion to give you!

The 4 month sleep regression recently hit our house. Loud and clear.

A few mornings ago I read an article which stated that ‘the 4 month sleep regression is here to stay’. The 9 and the 18 month lasts only a few days, however the 4 month regression is…permanent. Yes, that’s the word they used! WHAT?!! Not the best thing to read after a few days and nights of no sleep!!!

Basically at around 4 months everything changes. Where babies used to sleep deeply, around 4 months their cycle starts fluctuating between light and deep sleep, just like ours, and if they haven’t yet learnt the art of self settling, they wake.

So as this new cycle is here to stay for forever (insert me rocking in a corner here), what do we do?

Poor little Beau all out of sorts :(
Poor little Beau all out of sorts 🙁

Dealing with sleep regression:

The suggestions were rocking baby to sleep, swaddling, dream feeds and sleep coaches (once the regression has eased), amongst other ideas.

However, being the perfectionist I am, I continued researching. I read different articles all presenting very different opinions, but in the end the words just got scrambled (much like the eggs I was trying to cook for hubby at the time).

Did I find a solution? Was there a lightbulb moment? Kind of.

That little voice in my head said – Wouldn’t I know best on what to do?

In our family we have learnt that reading information and gathering advice from trusted sources is important. However true magic has happened when we have followed our own instincts. After all, that’s how Bubsi Brain was created!

Which advice did I choose to follow?

My own. First I had a shower, put on some make-up and actually put some thought into what I would wear. I was ready. I could think a little clearer. The boys (Harrison 5 yrs, Vancouver 3 yrs and Beau 4 1/2 months) and I left the house and came back.

Beau was really unsettled and Harrison and Vancouver were fighting about who had ran into the house first (third world problem I know!). So I grabbed my iPhone, threw on our trusty music and flung out all the books.

We sung and read books. This kept Beau (and the older boys) happy while we played, but as soon as we stopped, the tears continued.

I tried to breathe deeply, be calm, enjoyed extra cuddles and kept the coffee on tap.

The cuddles and coffee were on tap.
The cuddles and coffee were on tap.

Did he need tummy time? I tried it…no. Different positions? tried it…no. Hungry? At 4 1/2 months, possibly?! So the boys and I gave it a go.

After a bucket load of rice cereal later, he stopped eating. Was he cured? not quite.

Deep breath, sip of coffee…

The hungry sign, the tired sign. He had just had milk, he had just had a sleep. But I tried it all again and it worked! A full bottle, bed and 2 hours later… he woke!!!

Turns out he was 100% ready for solids and just needed more milk. We all breathed a sigh of relief after what seemed like an eternity of holding our breath.

So who is the expert when dealing with baby sleep regression?

A much happier Beau after a good sleep!
A much happier Beau after a good sleep!

Me! And you! You are the best expert you know!

I was lucky this time around, the solution was found pretty quickly. With my other two boys, the process has taken much longer.

But my point with this blog isn’t on the length of time or the circumstance. It’s to hopefully remind you that even if it doesn’t feel like it at times, you are the best you that there is and even if you need to ask for help (I have many times before), in the end and all the way through…you know best. Trust that and listen to your gut.

You’ve got this!

Love Kris x

Kris is a former Aria Nominated Singer / Songwriter whom has discovered the art of creating happiness and calm through music and books. Her music creates a happy atmosphere and her black and white books engage babies and siblings alike.

More here – MUSIC / BOOKS

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Here's a happier Beau after his big rest and a good vomit :)
Here’s a happier Beau after his big rest and a good vomit 🙂

You are amazing!

you-are-amazingThis note is for you.

We as parents experience extreme highs and extreme lows and most of them can happen within minutes of each other.

“I’m so happy, how amazing is my baby?!” to a few minutes later “this is the hardest day of my life!”

Then pile on the “am I doing it right?’ guilt, mix it with lack of sleep and what you have is an emotional parent.

Well today this is for you –

I hope you know that you’re amazing.

You have done the reading or maybe you haven’t, you have your own ideas on what you think is right, trust that. Trust your instinct, know you are amazing.

On the days when it’s hard, it’s not your fault. It just happens, you are doing everything in your power to help, be kind to yourself. Make yourself a cup of tea, read a magazine, you are amazing.

The times when advice is given but you don’t agree, it’s ok, each to their own. You are amazing.

All your dreams and goals which have been pushed to the side will one day happen, don’t worry, you are amazing.

It’s not your fault, you’re doing a great job and yes your instinct is right, trust it. You are amazing x

From one mum to another.

With love,

Kris x

P.s today I say this to myself, please say it to yourself too.

Kris is a former Aria Nominated Singer / Songwriter whom has discovered the art of creating happiness and calm through music and books. Her music creates a happy atmosphere and her black and white books engage babies and siblings alike.

More here – MUSIC / BOOKS

 

Your Baby’s Brain

Navigating a new baby can be tough. Especially if it’s your first baby.

Learning to read babies cues is huge and then there’s the added pressures of breastfeeding vs bottle, routine vs no routine, the list goes on.

The last thing you think about is baby’s development. Or maybe you do and you get overwhelmed with all the advice out there.

FullSizeRender-14Quick facts on your baby’s brain:

* Did you know that a babies brain is made up of cells which based on experiences develop vital connections in the brain that influence babies emotional, social and intellectual development?

* The way these cells connect depends on baby’s experiences – interacting with others, stimulating senses, singing, reading and active play.

This makes me want to engage in some kind of developmental activity, what about you?

What can you do to help your baby’s brain develop?

Lets simplify it.

There are many things you can do to continue in baby’s development, however simple every day experiences can help shape your baby’s brain, how easy is that?!

Involve baby in your day to day activities, meet up with friends, sing and read, go for walks and explore the great outdoors.

Enjoy the fact that everything you do is something new for your baby PLUS it assists in their development!

And that’s that. Blog over 🙂 Here’s to making life easier, not harder and enjoying seeing the world through the eyes of our children!

Much love,

Kristina x

For our Paediatrician Endorsed Developmental CD ‘Sing Baby Sing’! Click HERE

Press play, sing along and enjoy the fact that you are helping baby in his/her development.

For further reading on baby development click HERE.