How to find your mothers instinct

Trusting Your Instinct

Mothers Instinct. Only now have I learnt how to listen to it and how to trust it.

Quick story: after a recent trip to the doctors (a basic cold turned into a rash situation – Harry, 2 1/2 years), the doctor noticed Harry’s glands raised a little more then they should have be – “I’m 99.9% sure there’s nothing wrong, however, if you’re worried, then I’m worried”.

It turned out that this doctor had recently encountered a number of parents with children who hadn’t shown any sign of serious illness, however, the parents still felt the need to investigate. Against her professional opinion and on further testing, they did in fact discover that these children did have the particular illnesses their parents believed they had.

How amazing is that?! An instinct could save a life!

This made me question just how much I use and trust my instinct when dealing with the boys.

Below are a few tricks which helped me discover my mothers instinct. If you’re struggling to find yours, I hope his helps x

1. Sleep / Yoga. Sleep; if I don’t sleep, I 100% don’t function. If I do sleep…watch out world here I come! This point is a little laughable though, as if parents of young babies ever have much of this! So if sleep is not an option, I use yoga. It would be lovely to exit the building to do this, but in times of desperation, the shower it is. Breathing deeply and freeing the mind. When I’m done, I find I have a clearer mind and the ability to be present and in the moment.

2. Music. I’ve been using music or singing (whichever is quickest to get to), to stop the tears and create a little quiet amidst the madness. It’s so much easier to think and listen to your gut when there’s no screaming in the background. Click HERE for the music I use and created (using my instinct) – couldn’t live without it!

2. Observation. If I’m stuck in the middle of tantrum city, I find I use music or singing to create the quiet, however, if I can…I stand back and watch. Last week, as I stood back and watched Harry play with his brother Vancouver (1 yrs) and friends, I worked out that his tears and tantrums could possibly be fixed with a little one on one time with me. Turned out I was right, seemed to do the trick. A change up of toys also helped (a busy toddler is a happy one :))

3. A hug. It’s amazing how you can instantly work out what’s going on with a hug. Adults do it all the time, if you’re angry, the hug will feel icy, if you’re feeling affectionate, the hug will feel warm; it’s the same with babies and toddlers. This morning I hugged Vancouver, he couldn’t care less, he struggled free and pulled my hand to help him walk. I then hugged Harry, he clung on and wouldn’t let go, he needed some one on one time with mummy before running off happily. I felt what they needed from the hug. Click HERE for more on hugging and its benefits (healing, boosting self esteem…amazing!)

These are just a few things which have helped me. The biggest has been creating space in my mind, so then when something happens and my instinct kicks in, I can hear it. For me it didn’t happen naturally, I had to learn it, create space for it and then practise listening. I found that the more I listened, the more I heard.

I hope this helps you too and I hope you too can find the peace and the empowerment which comes from hearing and using the mothers instinct.

Lots of love,

Kris xxx

To learn more on the music and books Kris created for her children follow the links below.

Sing Baby Sing – sing, play and soothe baby.

Black and White Stories For Babies – help babies eyes grow and develop.

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The perfectly imperfect parent

kristinagPerfectly imperfect. I love it. It’s something I’m coming to terms with.

As a mum of two boys under the age of 4 years and another on the way, an immaculate kitchen, polished floors and neatly folded clothes is something of the past.

Instead, it’s spaghetti thrown around the room like art, ice cream poured into the rug and clothes used as piles to jump from whilst pretending to be a super hero.

During the newborn stage it was even worse. The perfect white outfit covered in vomit, the sparkling car covered in crumbs, wrappers, unknown smelly objects and a usually spotless bag filled with empty wrappers, old baby food tubes, spilled formula and hundreds of 5 cent coins.

Lets call it a comedy. Starring me. Or some days, a horror film 🙂

But here’s the thing, being a perfectionist, always wanting the best for the kids and striving to help them in their social, emotional and physical development, is REALLY hard when you are striving for perfection. Clean kitchen, house and children. THAT, takes up the day. The end.

But one day my gorgeous husband (he’s reading this so…) and super amazing, hot and luscious 🙂 (actually, seriously!) mentioned that he would rather come home to mess, me rested and all of us happy. ?!?! So I tried it.

It was messy and not one bit nice. The dishes were falling off the benches, the washing was slung from the rooftop, literally, however the boys and I had played, sung, danced and read together. We even had time to create characters, draw pictures and play make believe. So then when the husband came home…we were imperfectly happy!

Does this mean we’ll live in mess forever and ever amen? N.O. But it does mean that I’m learning how being imperfect can actually be pretty perfect!

Here’s to fun, crazy and messy days!

Kris xo

 

* Don’t forget to check out Bubsi Brain’s music and books helping you lead an easier and happier life.

CAR MUSIC – keep baby and the kids settled in the car

DEVELOPMENT GUIDES – follow the music development guide

CAPTIVATING BABY BOOKS -help baby’s eyes develop as you read